At ENN (Slackers R Us) we like to support writers' strikes before they happen, and this is why there are so many gaps in between postings. Anyway, we're off the couch for a moment to post the ridiculous sacking of one Emma Clarke because she made fun of, among other things, American tourists. Emma's that voice you hear when you're on the Tube, the one who every so often warns people about The Gap.
Being Americans, the staff of ENN (amerikaiak vagyunk)knows American tourists are hilarious. Also, as Americans, we often exercise our constitutional right of making fun of Brits, so turnabout is fair play, no? But I guess that besides having bad teeth and being crap lovers, Brits have a low tolerance for employee humor. This, ironically, makes them take one more step in the direction of becoming American. And you guys thought you had gotten rid of us by sending a few Puritans over the ocean? Hah! Too funny.
But I digress. On her website, Emma has funny announcements we all may secretly wish we could've heard while using The System. One of them says "We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly." Apparently Emma has experienced American tourists before. Just in case you think the focus of her "slagging" is for the loud-mouthed Yanks, she also takes a stab at Londoners. I hope she will come up with one addressed just to Madonna, who is an American living in London, and thus straddles two categories (there may even be a photo of her in this pose, in her book of naked pics).
A spokesman for the London Underground said that they're "sorry to have to announce that further contracts for Ms Clarke are experiencing severe delays." Ha ha, so hilarious, and the spokesman didn't get canned for it (or sacked, if you're British). How come he can slag Emma but Emma can't slag anyone? Surely there must be a card we can play here: sexism, racism, speciesism, or some other ism. Emma, you fight, girl! Also, give The Gap another try. They're a bit expensive, but their stuff is nicer than the crap at Banana Republic.
Got bad teeth? Contact the ENN orthodontists at eza_news@yahoo.com
