Next time, Wolfie, burn your shorts. That'd be more original.
Not-quite-fast-enough reader Sára sent in a link to a Hungary-hating video created by some Slovakian types. Unfortunately, the video has since been removed, so EZA News Network (Lumpen Elements of Society United to Fight Peace Wherever it Should Arise) can't brilliantly deconstruct it and point out the socio-economic causes underlying its vile lyrics. It was one of those "you blink, you miss it" things, like Slovakia. Man, those guys sure don't like us, huh? Apparently the video was some kind of skinhead heavy metal opus, the kind where the people at the microphone basically scream and those on the floor jump around and bump swastikas. EZA has since perused a couple of other offerings by the creator of the hate-em-hungos video, who goes by the handle werwolfSSlovakia (yes, he can't spell). Hmmmm....SS....could that be a clever reference to Adolf's little party? I saw a werewolf waving a swastika at Trader Vic's; his sieg heil was perfect. Ahooo, werewolves of Bratislava....ahoooooooo.
EZA can't confirm the contents of the video (which included the burning of a Hungarian flag) since no one at ENN HQ managed to catch it before it was removed by YouTube, so we can base this report only on hearsay. But hey, hearsay's good enough for us. We're not picky. According to Sára, it was less than 2 minutes short (because on top of having bad grammar and tiny genitalia, bigots have short attention spans), and it was in some kind of English. Bad English. She remembers one phrase from it: "Always opposite Hungary!" Howzzat for a war cry? Eat your heart out Alexandru Duţă. You never came up with something so creative for your little magyar-zapping game.
I don't know about you, but I think it's heart-warming how English has become a lingua franca, and now we can all make sure that the people we hate understand we're not just waving across the border at them, we're threatening them with genocide as well as insulting their mothers. Before the advent of English as a more or less universal language, you had to trust the guy on the other side would understand some hand gestures, or you actually had to invest on grenade-launchers and other aggressive things, and those can max out your Visa, like, in seconds. Not all of us are Israel, after all.
The comments to the videos ENN did watch demonstrated how wonderful English can be to bring together diverse peoples into the commonality of bigotry. People who don't speak Hungarian, for example, totally would miss the colorful insult posted by an angry magyar (EZA speaks only a little magyar, but she's pretty fluent in the cursing department and other useful areas), while the insult posted by someone else in English was clear to almost everyone, possibly including werwolfSSlovakia. This is a good thing. This is communication! Imagine what amazing wars we could've had in the past if we could've understood all this hatred and replied in kind. Nowadays we write little insulting messages on missiles, which I think furthers the reach of English as the universal tongue.
The Slovaks should be careful, because we have more diacritics than anyone else in the world and we pack some mean suffixes. We have hot paprika guns as well, and those are everything to sneeze at. And as if that weren't enough, we also have Chuck Norris. So, take thee for a dumpster dive, 'werwolf,' you naughty little Slovak brat, you. Don't make us open a can of whoop-goulash.
Are you a loser slovak who has nothing better to do with your empty life that insult the magyar people? Email eza_news at yahoo.com...our magyar staff enjoys making fun of you.
