Spoke, English as she is

Smart-as-a-rutabaga werwolfSSlovakia (always opposite grammar!) isn't the only guy in the world to have some problems with English (which may be the reason he burns flags, aside from the fact he's a complete and utter idiot) . Here's a sample of signs in English seen around the world and compiled by an anonymous ENN (We talk good!) informer:

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

In an Acapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

In a Paris hotel elevator: "Please leave your values at the front desk."

In a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."

In a Swiss mountain inn: "Special today -- no ice cream"

In a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

In a barbershop in Zanzibar: "Gentlemen's throats cut with nice sharp razors."

In a barber shop in Tokyo: "All customers promptly excecuted."

In the window of a travel agency in Barcelona: "Go away."


Meanwhile, in the good old U.S. of A. we have our problems as well, and this should discourage anyone from trying to learn this wicked tongue:


In a Maine restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends."

In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."

In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center."

On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal church."

In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last an hour!"

In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."

In a laundry room: "Do not put wet clothes in dryers, as this can cause irreparable damage."

A sign on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago: "Do not activate with wet hands."

In a New Hampshire jewelry store: "Ears pierced while you wait."

In a New York restaurant: "Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager."

In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."

At a number of US military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."

In the window of an Oregon general store: "Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?"

On a Tennessee highway: "Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable."

On a delicatessen wall: "Our best is none too good."