hétfő, szeptember 25, 2006

Marbles, Slota lost his

We at ENN (We Are Hu) spent the past two weekends debating the politics of Central Europe*, so we haven't had time to update our readership on the zany events that tend to take place in that subsidiary of Comedy Central. Unconfirmed reports from underpaid informants tell us that Ján Slota may have finally fallen prey to delirium tremens, as he has allegedly called the Hungo PM "a wise politician." Clearly Ján needs to have a few cleansing drinks if he doesn't want to completely destroy the delicate balance of ethnic hatred between our two nations. We really can't allow these sort of shenanigans, so have one or twenty on the house, dude, and come back in with one of those trademark snarling invectives we've all come to expect.

On other news also involving Ján, the magyar far-right group Hatvannégy Vármegye Ifjúsági Mozgalom (that's magyar for: "We have a really long name") held a rally in front of the Slovakian embassy in Budapest in which about 250 people burned pictures of Slota and also of the guys who beat up the Hungo girl in Nytra. To make sure their point was not missed, they also stamped on and spit at said photos. The magyar police will not prosecute these voodoo practitioners, on the grounds that burning, spitting at, and stomping on photos of Slovak politicians does not constitute breaking the law. ENN (Lumpen Elements Always Opposite Spitting in Public) believes this stance might cause the statue of Petőfi in Pozsony to experience some more facial surgery, possibly at the hands of the Slovak cops.

These actions on both sides of the river, while a form of free speech, detract from more legitimate pursuits, such as drinking. This leads to a slump in alcohol sales, which not only hurts the economy, but has the potential to land the whole area into a serious state of lethal sobriety. So do your patriotic duty, whichever side of the Duna you find yourself in, and head for the nearest bar. And no spitting in the drinks. That's just unholy.


*sleeping late, drinking, and carousing like a certain minority

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