Move me on to any black square
The staff of ENN (Taking a Straight and Stronger Course) doesn't really play much chess, but we're always up for a good chess scandal. One of our many pawns has sent in this site, which describes the sordid details of what shall henceforth be known as Toiletgate. The Bulgarian grandmaster, Veselin Topalov, complained that his rival, Vladimir Kramnik, goes to the john more often than any person in history, which may be evidence he is somehow cheating by using some kind of method Topalov didn't think of first. In any case, something definitely smells here. But not to worry; the authorities acted with alacrity: as a result of Mr. Kramnik's excessive use of the facilities, the players' private toilets have been closed, and the two will now share a privy. The world heaves a collective sigh of relief as the sanctity and honor of the game is restored, and the sound of flushing much diminished. We would like to suggest that in the future, the players be outfitted with catheters.
We hope that the best player wins and that he makes the white queen run so fast she hasn't got time to make him a wife. And to both we say: just remember that the goal is for us all to capture all we want. Oh, yeah, baby.
