Hungarian football fans provide free tourism advertising for Slovakia Slovakia is beautifully! Hungarian football fans know it and wish to make the world aware of it. Go to Slovakia! Fuck a Slovak! Hell, fuck the whole region! This photo and others have made headlines around the civilized world, as well as in Slovakia, where apparently those wonderfully randy Slovaks totally misunderstood the friendly intent on the part of the Hungarians. The problem is that English, while it is becoming more common in Central Europe, remains quite esoteric for many in the region. This is why the Slovaks didn't get that the football fans were only trying to promote the northern region of Hungary (aka Slovakia) and its loving nature. The staff of ENN (Reporting the News from Waaaaaaay on the Other Side of the Danube) feels it is our duty to clarify things, lest more attacks on mobile phone customers take place.
So, without further ado, let us translate:
Fuck Slovakia -- "Slovakia is a sexy place with more action than Bangkok! Wanna Bangkok? Go to Slovakia!"
Jan Slota Must Die -- "Jan Slota drinks too much, and this will no doubt lead to cirrhosis of the liver, which in many cases leads to death. Jan, darling, we care! Stop drinking! Fuck Slovaks instead!"
Slovaks, you will always remain our slaves -- "Embrace BDSM!"
The situation is clearly escalating. Slovak Police President Jan Packa illuminated the issue by offering his insight, clearly born of years of experience in the mean streets: "Some acts are beginning to create nationalist problems," he said. ENN (Lumpen Elements Creating Nationalist Problems Daily), owes Mr. Packa a debt of gratitude for pointing this out. We wouldn't have noticed a thing had he not mentioned this. I'll have "Stating the Bloody Obvious" for $1000, Alex.
On The Other Side of the Danube (TM), the Hungarian PM decided he was done being Mr. Nice and demanded in his strongest language yet that Bobby Fico use some strong language of his own to chastise his naughty people ("Now hear this: Stop bothering the neighbors, you hear? I mean it"). He went even further and summoned the Slovak ambassador to Budapest for a good spanking. He officially demanded “that the politics of silence come to an end.” Rumors that Fico & and his Brat (islava) Pack responded by dropping their pants and mooning towards the south are still unconfirmed. Really, Feri. Bullies don't understand words. Try another approach. Like dropping Mr. Softee machines on their heads. That'll get their attention. The People's Republic of EZA is standing by with silos full of Root Vegetables of Mass Destruction, all ready to be shot over the river at the silly little Slovaks. All you gotta do is ask.
Got nationalist unrest? Email the magyarly studs of ENN at eza_news @ yahoo.com
