Piréz, send them back home to

Idegenellenesség (xenophobia) is alive and well in Hungary, according to a survey conducted by news agency MTI. Wisely learning from the negative experiences of Alex the Magyar-Zapper, MTI created a group of imaginary refugees, freshly arrived from non-existent Piréz and seeking refuge in Hungary. Twenty-seven percent of those polled said they wouldn't give the filthy Pirézi asylum in the fair magyar land. Interestingly, the most rabidly anti-foreigner were those who place themselves in the political far left. Only 8% of the respondents thought anyone who wants to live in Hungary should be allowed to do so, though 90% saying they would especially welcome ethnic Hungarians. Pack your carrots, we're going home!

Maybe this anti-foreigner feeling has to do with Hungarians being among the unhappiest people on Earth. According to the Happy Planet Index, Hungary ranked 121st out of 178 countries measured. This might explain why we blow up our townhomes and throw carrots at our spouses. We're unhappier than Namibia! And Bosnia! We're one stroppy bunch indeed. But hey, we're a lot happier than the Pirézians, who are pretty damn mad at the moment and have pledged support of Alex's game. All they have at the moment is some old carrots, but we all know how deadly those can be.